Christ to Return on May 21, 2011

No, you’re not reading The Onion, but you’d be better off if you were instead of paying any attention to this latest bit of theological nonsense. I’ll grant that it’s only on the periphery of PaleoBabble, but since I don’t have a blog called “Theolo-Babble” or “Spiritual Crapulence” this one will have to do.

Perhaps some of you are blissfully unaware of the newest predictions of the return of Jesus. They’re actually becoming hard to miss. MSLSD ran this story today to help the cause. Wonderful that they picked someone in the military to profile as a believer in this nonsense. Nice touch.

This theological brain fart comes from Harold Camping, a radio preacher that has been on the air for a long time. I can remember listening to him while I was in college. He wasn’t a nutty pseudo-scholar then. I don’t really know what’s happened to him. All I know is that Christians will, once again, be made to look like idiots.

For the record — if I haven’t made my position clear already — Camping’s prediction is an exegetical flim-flam. There’s only one thing more certain that the rapture isn’t going to happen on May 21, 2011:  that Camping will have some sort of epiphanic insight on May 22, 2011 that explains both his egregious error and why people should still listen to him. After all, Camping has done this before (his first prediction was 1994 — too bad he was wrong; I wouldn’t have had to go through PhD work).

For an idea (mind-numbing at that) on Camping’s “reasoning”, go here. Note that I do not endorse the site at that link; it just goes into some description of Camping’s view.

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  • Juan

    OBAMA FULFILLING THE BIBLE

    Pres. Lincoln stated: “I believe the Bible is the best gift God has ever given to man.” But several Bible verses are embarrassing to Pres. Obama:
    Proverbs 19:10 (NIV): “It is not fitting for a fool to live in luxury – how much worse for a slave to rule over princes!”
    Also Proverbs 30:22 (NIV) which says that the earth cannot bear up under “a servant who becomes king.”
    And Ecclesiastes 5:2-3 (KJV) advises: “let thy words be few…a fool’s voice is known by multitude of words.”
    Although Obama is not descended from slaves, he may feel that he’s destined to become a black-slavery avenger.
    Or maybe an enslaver of all free citizens!
    For some stunning info on Pres. Obama and his fellow subversives, Google “Michelle Obama’s Allah-day,” “Obama Supports Public Depravity,” “David Letterman’s Hate Etc.,” “Un-Americans Fight Franklin Graham” and also “Sandra Bernhard, Larry David, Kathy Griffin, Bill Maher, Sarah Silverman.”
    PS – Since Christians are commanded to ask God to send severe judgment on persons who commit and support the worst forms of evil (see I Cor. 5 and note “taken away”), Christians everywhere should constantly pray that the Lord will soon “take away” or at least overthrow all US leaders, including Obama, who continue to sear their conscience and arrogantly trample the God-given rights of the majority including the rights of the unborn. Do we need a second American Revolution?
    (Theologically radioactive Harold Camping prophesied that Christ would return during Sep. 1994. Undaunted, con man Camping now predicts it will occur in May of 2011. Since Deut. 18:20-22 requires the death penalty for false prophets, Camping and his deluded groupies deserve inclusion in the above “take away” prayers. False prophets in the OT were stoned to death. Today they are just stoned!)
    PPS – For a rare look at the 180-year-old, imported-from-British-crazies endtime escapist belief which has long neutralized millions by promising them an “imminent rapture” off earth – which has diverted them away from being prepared to stand against all enemies, domestic as well as foreign – Google “Pretrib Rapture Dishonesty” and “Pretrib Rapture – Hidden Facts.”

    • MSH

      take a breath! This rant / stream of consciousness has no connecting threads as far as I can tell; simply incoherent babble.

  • http://aerycksmusic.wordpress.com Eric J. Sawyer

    Time to start packing for ‘Rapture Airlines’

    • MSH

      funny!

  • Fred

    Churches never mention these verses that state the believers will know more than the unbeliervers like when christ will return, ask your minister what these verses mean! I am sure that he will not have an answer.

    1 Thessalonians 5:
    4 But ye, brethren, are not in darkness, that that day should overtake you as a thief.
    5 Ye are all the children of light, and the children of the day: we are not of the night, nor of darkness.
    6 Therefore let us not sleep, as do others; but let us watch and be sober.

    Daniel 12:
    8 And I heard, but I understood not: then said I, O my Lord, what shall be the end of these things?
    9 And he said, Go thy way, Daniel: for the words are closed up and sealed till the time of the end.
    10 Many shall be purified, and made white, and tried; but the wicked shall do wickedly: and none of the wicked shall understand; but the wise shall understand.

    • MSH

      I guess you didn’t do your homework here. I have a PhD in biblical studies. I don’t need to ask a minister about any of this.

  • Scott

    This is an interesting blog… I posted an article a months back about a quick list of the signs that have happened in the past 50 years. It was an answer to the comment “I’ve been hearing the world was going to end since I was a kid” comment… It points out some of the latest ideas such as the blood moons and Jubilee cycles… But all in all there are a number of prophecies that have come to pass in the past 50 years… If your interested the link is: http://howlongolord.com/?p=147

    I found this blog while researching the original Revelation scrolls in greek…

    • MSH

      Is there a verse that tells us to look for Jubilee Cycles and blood moons after 70 AD?

  • GaryP

    I don’t know when Jesus will return but you can bet it won’t be occur at least until the day after I pay off my mortgage.

    • MSH

      I think the Cubs being on the verge of winning the World Series factors into it as well.